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FUTURE WORLD
by Joan Upton Hall
Originally published
in the Williamson County Sun,
In writing my Futuristic Suspense novel (yes, that is a known category), I’ve had a blast dreaming up gadgets that will be common-place in my fictional world. The trick is to sound as if you know what you’re talking about so well that readers don’t question it.
What I really want in scientific improvements are
pretty simple--without having to move out of my early
The trouble is, truth sometimes sounds stranger than fiction. Techno-enthusiasts tell me we will have nano-robots so small they can be injected into the body to search out what ails you--and fix it. I have a hard time not imagining one of these little guys as a teeny-tiny C-3PO (from Star Wars) wearing scrubs and a stethoscope!
But not all of the now-possible gadgets are so exotic. Cars, appliances, and clothes that will turn the world upside down are ready to launch on the everyday world too. Life as we know it will never be the same!
Take the “The Pod,” a prototype car that Sony introduced at the Tokyo Motor Show. It’s designed to resemble a living creature: headlights that blink like eyes, side mirror ears, and an antenna that makes like a tail. It talks to you and simulates emotion (anger if you don’t wash it; surprise if you slam on your brakes). Curved grooves in front can turn up in a smile or down in a frown. Now if that doesn’t create road rage, I’ll be a monkey’s aunt!
“IT” was long heralded as a personal, short-distance transportation revolution. You know those things that look like scooters, but they respond to your body motions by turning when you lean, stopping if you lean back, etc. Then why don’t we see them in use anywhere? I think all IT needs to actually become popularly accepted is a sit-down model and a whole lot more money in our pockets to pay for it.
Or there’s the screenfridge (Electrolux Group), which saves you from the boredom of entertainment withdrawal. Its door doubles as a monitor for TV or internet surf-dom. Talk about forgetting what you went to the kichen to get!
And heaven forbid you should have to tire out your finger punching
buttons. Hotech Corp of
I read that German scientists are developing a synthetic fiber that can be woven into clothes to generate solar power. The article didn’t say whether this meant it warmed and air-conditioned you as needed or that you could recharge batteries with your jeans.
Good grief! My needs are simple, and I’ll bet it’s the same for a lot of people. Here’s my wish list:
1. Why can’t somebody just invent a shirt tag that doesn’t scratch your neck?
2. I don’t need conversations with my computer, so please let me keep on typing.
3. I wouldn’t ask anything more of a robot if it could:
a. recognize in-coming telemarketer calls and keep the phone from ringing and
b. recognize SPAM on my email and delete it before I have to see it.
4. I’d love to have a simple way to record a TV program without needing an engineering degree to do it.
5. Anybody else out there who would go for a personal “reminder” implanted in the ears of spouses and/or children to--er, uh--nag them to do tasks?
6. A hair-retardent machine would make me happy to keep my hair exactly the right length and style. I’d be happy to pay a regular bill to my hair-dresser to keep it activated without having to go through those awful “growing-out” stages.
Am I right? Do other people wonder why scientists can’t deal with simple things before they make our cars fuss at us or our fridges become entertainment venues? Thinking about all the “revolutionary” life-style changes makes my head hurt.
What’s an old-fashioned woman like me doing in a high-tech world anyway?
I think I’ll just meet a few friends at
The Garden Tearoom in
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KID CUISINE
by Joan Upton Hall
Last week Janet Kilgore down-played the wonders of HAUTE CUISINE where "presentation is everything." I couldn’t agree more. It’s a wonder all right. Why spend three times longer to cook a dish than it takes to eat it? And why does a chef think a few artistic squiggles of sauce make up for a serving so stingy it wouldn’t feed a church mouse?
Janet says she’s always wanted to write a cookbook. Not to be outdone, I think I’ll at least compile one. I’ve spent the week being reminded of an underrated school of cooking—KID CUISINE.
My granddaughters, Ashley, age thirteen, Emily, eleven, and Hailey, six have been paying us a visit, and let me tell you, they’d make the world’s best chefs bow their heads in humility trying to please their palates.
My earlier schooling in KID CUISINE while bringing up my own kids couldn’t hold a candle to this. My sons, David and Doug, pretty much ate anything that didn’t get out of their way. They had the refrigerator and pantry doors trained to open automatically when they walked through the kitchen.
My youngest, Diane, was choosy, but since she ate less than a hummingbird on a diet, feeding her never presented much of a challenge.
Ashley isn’t much trouble either as I can usually count on her to enjoy the same food the rest of the family likes. Of course, that doesn’t count the fact she loves chicken pot pie only without the crust. She’s even taught that to her youngest sister, Hailey.
Then there’s the iffy propostition of trying out a new recipe on the girls. Ashley’s most likely to give it a fair trial. You can tell by her enthusiasm whether to add it to her list of favorites.
Hailey, who hasn’t yet mastered the art of diplomacy, will be deadly honest. She might reject a new recipe on the grounds of appearance (a follower of the "presentation is everything" theory). If she does taste it, she’ll instantly pronounce it either, "yummy" or "Yucky."
Emily’s more polished, politely declining to try anything unfamiliar. If you press the matter, she’ll take a serving, push it around on her plate awhile, and eventually give it a decent burial in the garbage.
She’s awfully good at spreading out her food to look as if she’s eaten some of it. I’ll never forget the dinner-time conversation when my husband, Don, had been talking about a couple of calves he was fattening in the back pasture.
Emily, only about four years old then, looked a little pale. I noticed she’d moved her cut up steak around the plate so much it was wearing thin.
"What’s wrong, Emily?" I asked.
She pointed at the meat. "Is...is this…anyone we know?"
Peanut butter and jelly provided her meal that day.
For those needing a crash course in KID CUISINE, here are a few tips from my kids and grandkids:
CHILI CON QUESO (for Texan kids only) – Ask your mom to serve your share in a bowl so you can eat it with a spoon like soup.
PIGLETS IN BLANKETS (mini version of
sausage kolaches) – Ask your mom to bake
HOT DOG – Spread one half the bun with catsup, the other half with mustard. Leave out the “dog.” Enjoy.
HAMBURGER – Spread one half the bun with catsup, the other half with mustard. Leave out the burger. Enjoy. (This may sound the same as the above to grownups, but kids know better.)
PORK CHOPS AND SLIMEY STUFF – (otherwise known as gravy) Favorite way to enjoy meat.
PIMIENTO CHEESE SANDWICHES – Ask your mom to make pimiento cheese sandwiches. Pick out all the red thingies and throw them away. Then the sandwich is perfect. Plain cheese without the pimientoes is no good.
HAM
FRIED EGG (Emily guarantees this to make your dog love you best) – Eat only the white of the egg, being careful not to break the yellow thing . Feed it to your dog.
And that, dear readers, will be the basis for the cookbook written by Ashley, Emily, and Hailey Klingbeil. As editor, I reserve the right to title it, THAT’S INEDIBLE.