Ask the Doctor

ASK THE BOOK DOCTOR NEW

ASK THE BOOK DOCTOR
#1 The Case of the AWOL Publisher
#2 Dialect Dilemma
#3 Tax-tested
#4 Publisher Terminology
#5 Pesky Commas
#6 Shifty Characters
#7 Drop-in Characters
#8 Boggled by Beginnings
#9 Publishing Puzzled

#1 The Case of the AWOL Publisher
Dear Doc,
In a few days, it will be seven months since the publisher received the complete ms. of my novel, Hannah's Journey, as they requested. I enclosed my SAPC, so I know it arrived. They state their waiting time is 4-6 months. Is it okay to send a polite note? If so, is there a specific way to word such an inquiry? Is an email permissible? Since no news is good news, I'm almost afraid to shake things up! I will appreciate any advice you have.
Yours truly,
June V.

Dear June,
First of all, you were smart to enclose the SAPC (self addressed postcard), making it automatic for a publisher to let you know your submission arrived. It's a good idea to do this with all submissions, including contest entries.
By all means, it's time to send a note. Start with a sentence inquiring as to the status of your submission with its title. Then briefly give the history of your communications with the editor (when she answered your query and what they requested, the date you sent it, etc., and that your SAPC was returned to you). End with a sentence about looking forward to her response. Whether to email or send a hard copy letter depends on each company. If the guidelines list an email address, they like to do business that way.
You're right about "no news-good news" too. An experience of my own may shed light on the subject of why an editor might not respond in a timely manner. I had sent a nonfiction book proposal to a university publisher months ago, and after a due time of hearing nothing, I asked for a status report about three times without an answer (by email, mail, and phone message). I gave up and sent the proposal elsewhere, notifying the university editor by mail that I assumed he was not interested in it. Ironically, both publishers called me the same weekend asking to see more. Turns out there had been editorial staff changes at the university press with "my" editor being promoted, plus having had a family tragedy. Prompted by my last letter, he "found" my proposal and hand-delivered it to the new acquisitions editor. She loved it, the submission board accepted it, and they offered me a contract.
Of course as a matter of courtesy, I had notified the smaller publisher when they called that it was currently under review. Had I already sent a completed manuscript, I would have been honor-bound not to send a multiple submission. Multiple submissions are only okay if you are sending sample chapters and a proposal (or synopsis if it's a novel).
Good luck with your tardy publisher. (And don't call her that! Keep it cordial, as "cute" comments have a way of coming back to haunt you.)
_____________

#2 Dialect Dilemma

Dear Doc,
In my fictional story, one of the characters is a foreign-born man with a thickItalian accent. Should his broken English be written to emphasize the accent or instraight, correct dialogue?

Thanks, Helen N.

Dear Helen,
Good question, and it applies to any kind of dialect. The first time your Italian man appears in the story, you might mention something about his accent, perhaps having your viewpoint character think about it. After that, trust your reader to "get it." You might have the character struggle with an English word or idiom occasionally. He might say something like, "No! It is...how you say...not in the question." (meaning "out of the question," which in context of a conversation, should be clear to the reader).
Rather than trying to duplicate every dialect sound with funny spelling as many nineteenth century writers did, strive for the rhythms and word order of the dialect. Thank goodness, Eudora Welty showed the rest of us writers how to evoke realistic dialogue effectively, never even showing a dropped "g" for her rural Southern characters, though we somehow heard it in our heads.
Overdone dialectical spelling keeps readers so busy translating what you mean, they lose track of the story. For example, I once had a client who switched all the "v" and "w" sounds in his German character Hans's dialogue. Typical as this may be, I suggested the client show Hans doing this only when he said a certain character's name ("Villy" for "Willy") because it was causing a huge miscommunication with other characters, a key event in the story. The client did a great job of revision, and Hans became a memorable character.
This also brings up the frequently asked question of the dropped "g" (i.e., sayin' for saying). Dropping that "g" when speaking informally is common to so many people and localities it is unnecessary to show it, and all those apostrophes get annoying.
Contractions also sound more like real speech most of the time (even though they call for more apostrophes). Have you ever noticed that people for whom English is a second language rarely use contractions, and they may speak more formally out of self-consciousness? Also consider your settings as people in earlier eras, who spoke more formally, would not have used contractions.
If you aren't part of the sub-group you are writing about, read it aloud to someone who is and let that person tell you if the language sounds right-and not demeaning. You can find more explanation and examples in my manual, Rx for Your Writing Ills. Just look for the words "dialect" and "dialogue" in the index.
Have fun breathing life into your characters!
________

#3 Tax-tested

Dear Doc,
With the IRS "Ides of April" coming up fast, it's simple enough to claim legitimate deductions for classes, workshops, office supplies, and professional memberships like SGWL. But travel expenses are more complicated. Any good advice?
The Tax-tested (questions from several writers)

Dear Tax-tested,
I don't claim to be a tax expert, but my accountant has approved my system for keeping track of income and expenses from the writing business. The highlighter color-coding in my ledger (such as pink for office expenses) isn't child's play, though I don't know anyone else who uses it. It categorizes types of debits and credits to help me get the "bottom line" on each: office expenses, utilities, legal & professional, equipment, assets, advertising/promo, and travel.
You're right, travel expenses are probably the least understood factor you can attribute to business-at least until you have book sales and donations to contend with. Keep tabs on such things as the following: going to writing events/meetings and research trips (*but be prepared to show where you used this research, whether or not the resulting article/book/etc. is sold by tax time; even rejection slips show proof of trying).
o Keep an exact log of travel, and using one vehicle makes it much easier. Most people keep a little notebook; I record it on my pocket calendar, which also identifies the event and destination in the same block. (1) You will need to report odometer readings for the first notation in Jan. and last notation in Dec., even though you use your vehicle for other than business. (2) For each trip, write the exact mileage shown on the odometer at the beginning and ending, along with total miles of that trip. (3) Multiply total miles for all trips by the IRS standard mileage rate. For example, in the YEAR 2005, that rate changed due to higher gasoline prices: Jan. 1- Aug. 31 it was 40.5% ; Sept. 1- Dec. 31 it was 48.5%.
o Lodging during your trip also counts. If you share a room with another writer, you'll need to divide the expense, and both of you will need a copy of the receipt in order to count the expense. Ask the hotel clerk to let each of you pay separately to get a receipt.
o Meals don't count unless you stay overnight. The reasoning is that, for a day trip, you could have eaten at home, though if you host another person as a business expense, you may count that person's meal. But if you do stay overnight, keep the receipts for all meals. To avoid confusion over just which Taco Bell was which later on, I staple all my receipts for a certain trip together. If you were a guest of the convention or whatever, of course, you will not have these receipts and can only count travel (unless they paid your mileage).
The only thing to like about tax time is the "forgiveness" of deductions for all those inevitable costs you've been shelling out all year.
*Be prepared to show: It's unlikely you'll ever be audited and have to show proof, but keep good records just in case, and file your article/story, published or not, to prove business expense.
_________

#4 Publisher Terminology (see also #6)
Dear Doc,
I just got a reply from a publisher about my young adult novel, The Rider. She likes the book, thinks I'm a strong writer, and have a wonderful message. She says if I make the changes she requires, she wants to see it again. I need to cut ten thousand words and "change it to third person past." I know the terms "limited omniscience" or "unlimited omniscience," but I can find nothing that defines "third person past." I assume she means "past tense" since she said I change tenses.
John W.

Congratulations!
If a publisher is willing to look at your manuscript again, she must love it. You are correct about her meaning to stay in "past tense" consistently, and third person simply means changing your viewpoint from "I/me" to "he/she." I would bet the third person she wants is "limited omniscient" (meaning only one character's viewpoint) so that readers will still know the thoughts and feelings of your protagonist. But here are your other choices for third person point of view (pov):
o "Omniscient" gets into the thoughts and feelings of all characters at the same time. Most modern editors/readers don't like it and call it "head-hopping."
o "Multiple viewpoint" is like limited omniscient except that characters take turns being the viewpoint character in different scenes or chapters. Use it when: (a) your main character is not on the scene, (b) another character has more invested in the scene, or (c) you want to show readers the true thoughts and feelings of that character even if he hides it from other characters.
o Third person can also be "objective" if readers don't get into anyone's thoughts & feelings. Readers only know what is observable by what characters say and do and by their mannerisms. This is sometimes called "dramatic viewpoint" because it's like watching actors on a stage. (Like omniscient viewpoint, this may distance readers from the characters you want them to care about.)
As for cutting ten thousand words, what a challenge! Think of it as a chance to get rid of wordiness that would bog down your story. For that big a chunk, however, you'll need to rethink which scenes and characters your story can drop.
Good luck on your rewrite.
________

#5 Pesky Commas
Dear Doc,

Our critique group has a disagreement about pesky commas. Which sentence in each of the following sets is punctuated correctly? If you can also explain why, you'll get a gold star.Set # 1:(a) They left early for the concert and arrived there in good time.(b) They left early for the concert, and arrived there in good time.Set #2:(a) He missed her so and wrote every day.(b) He missed her so, and wrote every day.Group Question

Dear Group,
In both cases, sentence (a) is correct although the word "so" in Set #2 presents an awkward miscue or "speed bump" to the reader. Here "so" is intended as an adverb, meaning "intensely," but a reader might stutter over it, thinking at first it's a conjunction, meaning "and therefore" or "so that," as in: "He missed her, so he wrote every day." Please consider replacing "so" with something like "intensely" or "painfully" or leave it out altogether.
Bottom-line rule: Wherever a COORDINATING CONJUNCTION (and, but, or, nor, so [colloquial for "so that"]) is followed by a subject-verb construction and thus could be a complete sentence, DO use a comma (optional if it's extremely short and no miscue would result). In both your sets, the conjunction "and" is followed by a verb that uses the same subject:
He left and arrived.
He missed and wrote.
May all your commas be less pesky in the future.
________

#6 Shifty Characters (see also #4)
Dear Doc,
Just when I thought I understood point of view (POV), my critique group pointed out that I was "POV shifting." I've poured through your RX... book to gain a better understanding of the subject and found a confusing statement. Under "the main advantage of third person limited pov" (p. 46, # 2, a), you wrote: "If the protagonist can't logically be present in a scene, you can shift to another character, preferably one who has much at stake here."
Can this mean it is all right to use another character's POV after all?
Shifty Viewpoint

Dear Shifty,
Notice we are talking about multiple viewpoint in that statement, which means showing the story through the mind and perceptions of one character at a time in separate scenes. It's an excellent way to draw readers in. Shifting or switching POV in mid-scene, or worse, in mid-paragraph, is what editors call "head hopping" and disorients your readers. Poorly handled "omniscient" (all-knowing) viewpoint has given omniscient POV such a bad name, editors tend to reject new writers who use it. Until you're quite comfortable switching roles like this, you probably shouldn't use more than three to five viewpoint characters in the course of a novel.
These would most likely be key characters, though I've seen major authors throw in a minor character for a single scene. The reason for being sure your POV character has a stake in the scene is to keep up the tension. A casual observer would not involve the reader.
Try this cure: BECOME your character while you're writing a scene, and role play her part (show her emotions, senses, and all). This of course would produce a first person POV, but you can change it to third if you like (examples in book, or ask your critique group to produce some).
Go forth and banish shifty characters!
___________

#8 Boggled by Beginnings
Dear Doc,
In your recent workshop, you told us the beginning lines of a story must ground the reader in time, place, and viewpoint. Does this paragraph do that?
Mazie knew something was wrong as she knotted the scarf under her chin, then braced for the next bump. She clung to the passenger's bucket seat up front next to Roy, her boyfriend. He usually drove carefully but seemed preoccupied. Since Mazie had slid inside the car, he'd hardly spoken to her.

Boggled by Beginnings,
Mary Ann S.

Dear Boggled,
Good job of showing the reader the situation through Mazie's viewpoint. As for time and place, you get a "yes and no." The scarf is a creative detail to let us know it's from an earlier time since women almost never tie scarves over their hair in 2006, but the reader may instantly picture her in a boat or plane, and the word "car" not only comes too late, but is generic. See what happens if you move up a sentence imbedded deep in your second paragraph that shows what we need to know sooner:
Mazie knew something was wrong as she knotted the scarf under her chin, then braced for the next bump. Roy, her boyfriend, steered the '57 Chevy Bel-Air convertible over the uneven pavement, weaving sharply to miss holes. She clung to the passenger's bucket seat next to him. He usually drove carefully, but ever since she had slid inside the car, he'd hardly spoken to her.

Moving that sentence instantly grounds the reader as to the "who, what, when, where," so she/he will be free to connect emotionally into the story. Also notice I cut out some unnecessary words. For example, "he seemed preoccupied" simply TELLS. "...he'd hardly spoken to her" SHOWS this skillfully.
You still "get an A" for making this reader want to know what Roy is upset about and what will come of his reckless driving.
Boggling begone!
________

#9 Publishing Puzzled
Dear Doc,
Some of us are confused when various speakers toss around the terms: Self-publishing, Subsidy Publishing, and Royalty Publishing. Can you please explain the meanings?
Publishing Puzzled

Dear Puzzled,
You are not alone in your confusion. Here are some simple definitions & examples:
1. Self-publishing: You take care of layout, cover design, and editing yourself; then you print and bind your book. (This includes hiring work done.) If you want to sell the book in bookstores or online, you will also need to take care of things like ISBN numbers, and you cannot get only one. Sorry I can't tell you how to do this because I'd rather be dipped in hot tar than even think about doing such a thing (shudder)! You also have to have several published books before you can register with distributors (explained on #2).
VIABLE EXAMPLES (no ISBN number necessary): chapbooks of your stories, essays, poetry, drawings; a topic on which you are a well-known expert; books intended for family and friends; booklets put together by an organizations (such as recipes), a booklet of collected published reprints (such as my "Demystifying Writers' Demons," that I sell directly at book events).
ADVANTAGES & DRAWBACKS: You have to pay for it, but the profit is all yours. Lack of professional input frequently results in an inferior product, so don't rely on yourself alone.

2. Subsidy Publishing: You hire a company that does layout, cover design, gets the book printed, and displays it on their website for sale. It also furnishes the ISBN# and distributorship through Baker & Taylor and/or Ingram to get the book into bookstores and online stores (like Amazon.com). This can be your chance at "breaking into print," but do be careful. Some of these companies produce a sloppy book and do little or no editing even if they claim to do so. Examine books they have done before!
VIABLE EXAMPLES: (A) specialty books you have a niche market for and plenty of audience to sell to; or you don't have time or energy to market to traditional publishers; or although traditional publishers have turned it down, you feel strongly enough to try this method.
(B) I won't name inferior companies, but you can tell by looking at their previous books. One that I do respect, and that I have used is WordWright.biz. I had this company to print the 2nd edition of a manual I had originally self-published. By then I knew my niche market, and the 1st book's flaws had already been identified, so I was ready to take it to a wider market via bookstores and online.
ADVANTAGES & DRAWBACKS: You have to pay for the costs, but the profit is your own. Since you paid the initial costs, a company that makes its living this way has less incentive to make a good book. Choose a company that cares about building its reputation. You make a bigger profit on each book than with a traditional publisher.

3. Royalty Publishing aka Traditional Publishing: You submit your manuscript to a company that does the sort of book you have written. If the editors believe it has a good chance of making a profit, they offer you a contract. If you agree to their terms and sign the contract, they take over from there, using their expertise to make most of the decisions about layout, cover design, etc. You may have less choice about any editing they deem necessary, but they are likely to be right.
VIABLE EXAMPLES: Some of these publishers' names are household words. Others are small presses with fewer books. Writers' Market lists them with contact information and what kind of books they publish. Some subsidy publishers build up to this status and take a chance on writers who have demonstrated great writing and successful marketing. WordWright.biz has recently opened this option while continuing to give newer writers a chance to prove themselves through the subsidy option.
Atriad Press (represented by our October speaker, Mitchel Whitington) is a small royalty publisher, with no subsidy options.
ADVANTAGES & DRAWBACKS: Since it's their investment on the line, it is to their advantage to help you succeed. However, if you demonstrate poor effort to market the book or you have been hard to work with, they may not offer you a contract on your future books. You have less control and don't make as much on each book sold, but all you invested was time and effort. Reviewers and bookstores trust royalty publishers more, knowing they couldn't stay in business if they didn't publish good books. Thus royalty publishers can usually reach a wider audience than subsidy publishers. They pay you royalties on books they sell, and you may also purchase books at a discount to sell directly. (Check your contract for percentages.)
As Mitchel Whitington said, writers today have more options than ever before. Just don't get in such a hurry you turn out a book before it's ready. A conscientious subsidy publisher may or may not catch your boo-boos. And let's face it, we all suffer for what the careless writers and publishers dump in the market place.
I hope this clears up the confusion.
_______

#7 Drop-in Characters
Dear Doc,
My critique partner told me not to bother with descriptions for characters who aren't important in my book, but I see big name authors doing it. A character without a description would be boring. Am I right or is he?
Sign me,
Deadly dull drop-ins

Dear Deadly,
Beore I take sides, I'd like to know your purpose for these drop-in characters.
(1) Part of scene setting: I've seen Tony Hillerman and Janet Evanovitch describe peripheral characters briefly and then "name" them according to that description for the rest of a scene. After a description of no more than a line or two, you might assign a name from that description (maybe "purple shirt" or "Dumbo ears"). Say your waitress has an annoying habit of bobbing her head to the cafe's music. You might even make further use of her to heighten tension, by having her return and interrupt conversation at an awkward moment, such as:
"Bobble-head leaned on the table. 'Did you say rare or well-done?'"
(2) Symbolic: Stephen King once picked a dead character as an object of his protagonist's shock. He referred to the body thereafter as a "sweet treat" when the viewpoint character had recurring fears of his own possible death.
(3) Character foil: Shakespeare (and many others since) have demonstrated what somebody is like by contrasting how two characters react differently in similar situations.
(3) Information provider: Sometimes you need one character for your main character to interact with so you won't have to tell the reader what they need to know. Warning: Be sure that whoever is being informed needs the information so this won't sound like info-dump. Lively characters can make it more interesting than straight author explanation.
(4) An important function: If this character or CERTAIN OBJECTS will turn out to have a purpose, keep him/her/it, but be subtle. M. Night Shyamalan (Sixth Sense, Signs, etc.) does it so masterfully (as does any good mystery writer) that he/she/it is almost subliminal.
With all the above, your viewpoint character's perception of other people shows as much about her or him as it does the minor character being described. For instance, in the first example above, the POV character is sarcastic in the way she sees the waitress as a "bobble head." A different viewpoint character may have been more sympathetic.
Bottom line-if you need the character, make him or her interesting without upstaging the protagonist. And balance the space given to minor characters with the amount of importance you want to give them. If you focus an entire scene on a character, your reader will expect that character to figure into the plot. Your story has no room for anything "deadly dull."

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